If you are in college, or know someone in college, you might be aware that it's about finals time. Now, I have another full week of classes, and then finals. Other schools are already emptied out of their students. I envy them.
I feel drained. I have some homework up, that I could be working on. But I can't focus on it for anything. I go, type a sentence or two, leave. Do something else. I would love to just take a nap right now, and then attempt to get everything done, but my motivation is fried. Which just adds more stress, as I really want to do well in all my projects, but I don't care anymore, but I want to do well, you feel me?
Most of my stuff is due by Thursday night, so that we can submit it for the Spring Showcase, so after that it should be smooth sailing. Hopefully. After that I should just have my Psych test to worry about, all my other classes are heavily project based, so all you do is show up when the final is scheduled.
All I've wanted to do for the past 3 days is to just go sit somewhere quiet, and not have to react to anything. Maybe sit in a coffee shop and draw, maybe finally catch up on the latest episode of Doctor Who (which I've had since Monday, and haven't gotten around to watching yet), maybe just sleeping. Just, as long as I don't have to DO anything. I understand that the end of the semester is when you get to show the culmination of all your work, and bring out the best stuff after months of learning. But all these big projects are stressing me out.
Now, looking at it all critically, I know mentally that it's all manageable. I'll be fine, and I'll end up having made something I'm proud of. I've put so much into my assignments all semester, and I think I got a good return, and I'm sure my final projects will be good as well.
But feeling based, all I know is that my head hurts, I've been tired and sleep deprived and weary since Monday night, I have so much to do, I don't want to let people down, I just feel like I could start bawling at any moment, and people around me are starting relationships. Which leads to talking and feelings and shit. This all adds up to me feeling EXHAUSTED. I even got at least 8 hours of sleep for the past two nights, and I almost feel more tired.
I don't want to complain too much, I mean, I do love my major and I'm passionate about my projects (or I am when I'm not too tired to care). The thing is, I feel like I've just been going and going and going for the past month. I'm so happy the end is close, because I don't think I could keep going and stay in a healthy place for much longer.
It's funny, cause I see pictures like this, and it's just like, no. I am tired. I mean, yes, maybe there are a couple other emotions there, like stress. But right now, all I feel is tired. Honestly, the thought that tomorrow is Saturday, and I get to sleep for hours is one of the few things keeping me going right now.
That was all long and dreary. If you got all the way through it, bless your face. Thank you for reading through my feelings. Or current lack there of.
Welp. It's been a while, and I've missed it. If nothing else, pick up lines are good for a chuckle. I don't know about you, but I can most definitely use a smile or some laughter.