Something that frustrates me

How many of you have seen this?

This is FALSE. Okay? At least the movie version. Unless damn doesn't count as a swear word any more. But watch the first 6 minutes of the film. About 5:06, she says damn you Gale.

So. Please stop. Unless you're just going off the books, which I haven't read in a while, and I don't have time read through everything, and check to see if she does or doesn't.

Okay. I'm prolly just PMS'ing a bit more today, and this just made me extra mad today.

I need to try and write a philosophy paper now... But I've run out of fucks to give and I can't find any motivation. But I still need to try.

In honor of the Hobbit coming out, cause I am SO EXCITED FOR IT. GAAHHH. Why can't the Hobbit be now, instead of finals? Actually, let's just get rid of finals and watch the Hobbit instead.

My life.

 I just want to experience it. That's not wrong, right?

Maybe like Lizzie Bennet, I'm doomed to be perpetually single.

My current favorite song. At the moment.

I like to draw sometimes.

Hopeful by ~purplypanda20 on deviantART

#feelings. ::or:: I'd like to be consistantly happy for a bit.

This isn't going to be super long. It's just feelings, pouring out. Plus I'm tired, but I don't want to go to sleep just yet. I prolly will after I write this.

I just sometimes feel like I want to sleep with someone. Not fuck. But just be close to someone and fall asleep. Is that weird? I don't even know. I just think it would be nice. You could even cuddle, and share bodywarmth. I think it sounds lovely. Maybe it's just me....

On another not, over the past 2 months, I have found myself incredibly attracted to Tobuscus on YouTube. I don't know why about that either. I just wish I could hang out with him, and be his friend. And play video games with him. That's not weird either, right? Totes not.
Have a picture of him. I'm contemplating potentially drawing this picture, with my awesome colored pencils, just cause he looks happy. Even with the bandaids on his forhead.

On a different note:


In philosophy, we're talking about personal identity, and I was just sitting there, like, Doctor Who addresses this in Journey's End. Oh. This was talked about in the Forrest of the Dead/Silence in the Library. This is just like The Almost People/Rebel Flesh. It's weird how taking philosophy after watching Doctor Who, and even after reading comics, I feel like I've heard a bunch of these theories before. It's weird. I mean, I like feeling like I get what's going on, and that it's not all new information.

On Monday, my Grandma is going into surgery. I really love my Grandma, and over the past couple days since I heard, everytime I think about being in this world without her, I start feeling like I want to cry. It hasn't been as bad today, possible cause I'm not PMSing any more. Thank goodness. But I'm still really worried. If y'all wouldn't mind praying, or if you aren't into praying or God, or whatever, if you could send positive thoughts for my Grandma in surgery, that would be great. And maybe some thoughts and prayers for my friend's mom, who is also in the hospital, and they're all worried. (Danielle, if you're reading this, I love you. And I am praying for y'all. <3 I know with everything going on, you might not read this, but I don't care. I adore you, and I want everything to work out fine for you and your family. And I'm cool with proclaiming my love for you in front of the internet. Even if you never see it.)

All in all, it's been kind of stressful, the past couple days. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving break. Though some highlight of my week have definitely been the recent Lizzie Bennet Diaries.

Here's the latest one. Though if you really want some cheering up, you should look for the ones with Fitz. I've watched those episodes several times the past few days. And Nevermind the Buzzcocks. Which is also a very wonderful show, and a favorite of mine.

Pick up line time!
......I really do like pick up lines.

And finally:
Dear Toby, if you ever happen to stumble upon this, and you'd maybe like another friend, you should consider me. I am normally pretty decent at using proper grammar, and I'm funny sometimes. Other times just awkward. But I'm sure I could still be a good friend. If you'd like references, I can get some. 

 

Are you Kidding Me! - Ep: 60

So. I've been rewatching these. Excellent use of time, just so you know.

Gah. I just watched this episode for the second time. It's sooo ggooooodddddd.
They need to get together and kiss already. I mean, lookit them. They'll be so cute. Have little babies wearing suspenders and bowties.

CBS WKBT News Anchor's On-Air Response to Viewer Calling Her Fat (Oct. 2...

I find this so beautiful, and so lovely. This lady is a badass, and I'm so happy she took time to say this on the news.

Edit: For some reason, it seems like my pictures and videos keep trying to disappear. I don't know how, or why. But it's frustrating. Here's the video, and I'm sorry it was gone for a bit. Especially since this was just a post about this video.

Truth

A video from my Vimeo account. Cause I have a Vimeo now. Vimeo is cool.

Sneezes, and Happiness, and a Bit of Anger from Abi Freeland on Vimeo.

Mornings are hard.

So, it's been a while. I guess. I just haven't felt like writing stuff. Especially when I have to write stuff for school. Though no academic articles or anything, so it's not that bad. Maybe a bit.

Anyhoo, I have to write a paper for my UCF (Understanding the Christian Faith) class, and we can talk about some big issue. So pretty much anything. And I'm kind of leaning towards how we should love, or just love in general. I think it's an important issue, that we skim over, because it seems like it should be obvious or easy. And it's not. It's just not. So I just thought I'd organize my thoughts out a bit before truly starting out. Maybe see if anyone has any thoughts about it.

Which I actually asked my professor after class if he thought it was a good topic. And he said it could use to be narrowed a bit, made more specific, but over all it's a good topic. That makes me pretty happy. I have a topic!!

In other news, I have bright red hair again. I just redyed it, it's all lovely and bright, and oh my Celestia, I feel like the little mermaid. There's something about bright colors that is just wonderful, you know? They brighten up my day. All day, I've been walking up to doors and staring at the bright red reflection in the glass. Also, I'm happy my school has doors made of glass. 

To add to all this happiness, I found my last good hair tie! It's the only one that's not overly stretched out, or broke so the elastic peeks out and pulls at my hair. In the words of Luna:

A not so lovely thing that happened today (besides making myself get out of bed) is that a fellow student in my philosophy class got pissed and stormed out. And on his way he called both the class, and the teacher fucking retarded. And then he threw in that philosophy is gay. And tossed over a lectern. Everyone sat there in silence for a bit after that, just shocked. That sort of behavior is not okay. I don't care if you don't like the class, or the teacher. You paid for that class, you chose to sign up for it, so either sit there and keep your mouth shut, or drop the class. It's not that hard. If you really don't like philosophy, just stop coming! Or even just show up and not pay attention. Put earbuds in, or zone out, or whatever. And using words like retarded and gay? Not cool bro. Seriously. Not cool.

I personally like the class, and the teacher. He's a super cool guy, he was my alpha group leader when I first got to college, and I'd looked forward to taking this class, pretty much all because of him. And philosophy isn't that bad. I mean, it's not something I get easily, but then I don't get every single subject right on the nose all the time. That's why I'm a student who goes to class to learn from a professor. A professor who has the credentials to work at a college. I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure they don't let just anyone in.

And now back to using words like retarded, and gay. You're using them to call something worthless, and stupid. That is not okay either! Honestly. You wouldn't like it if someone said "That is so rude student who just barges out of the room!" Especially if they meant it in context to you. You'd feel horrible! Like, why have I done something wrong?

So, yah. Good times.

Pick up line time! The main thing every one has missed in the couple weeks I haven't posted anything. I don't feel like doing a ton of searching, so here's my personal favorite. Cheers!

I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?

“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.” — Shana Abé

School starts super soon :or: Mo' Picture Spam

So, I've been anxiously awaiting for school to start again as I've had a pretty boring summer. And I really missed everybody. People are already starting to come back!! But, as I've just been meandering through my summer, I haven't had a ton to blog about, but I have been stocking up pictures. Pictures which I wish to share. With y'all. You're welcome.

I have added a new person to my list of favorite people who are wonderful and perfect and even though I don't know them I'm so happy they exist. And the person is CARRIE HOPE FLETCHER. She's amazing and wonderful. Her YouTube channel name is ItsWayPastMyBedTime.

I'm counting the Pride and Prejudice quote as the pickup line for this post. Cheers <3

Coffee and Tattoos :or: General Excitement

Alrigthy. First off, let me just say, I am typing this from my brand new Macbook, which I have lovingly named Benedict Tom Cuddleston. Cuddleston for short.

Now then. I have a random, vaguely irrational, but strong desire to own and run a coffee shop. I just do. Someday, I really hope I make this a reality. But I was just thinking about how I want a tattoo, multiple tattoos, as I was scrolling down Pinterest. And I was thinking how someday, I want to own a nice small coffee shop. And how nice it would be if it were right next to a tattoo parlor. Wait, what? I know, it shocked me too. Sometimes my mind just thinks things, and then 5 minutes later I realized what I thought. I just think it would be really nice. Of course, I also think it would be nice to be next to a quaint old bookstore, that just has that great bookstore feel. If this was all in Paris, that would be great too, but let's keep it kind of realistic for now.

But how great would it be to be right next door to place were people get to put art on their skin? I adore tattoos, and not just tattoos I want, but tattoos other people have. Plus, some of those lovely art-ed up people might come in to my humble little coffee shop. And I could admire the art.

Plus, if they just got it done, I would give them a free drink if they showed it to me. This place is only an idea in my head, and already I'm thinking of promotional deals, and shit. I might be putting the cart ahead of the horse a bit. Or a lot.

Unrelated, I've been in a Never Shout Never mood yesterday and today. Maybe it's the cloudy over tones outside, but I just want to listen to some Christopher Drew Ingle.

PICKUP LINE TIME

 

I'm feeling pretty sad about potentially not being able to buy the Hunger Games as soon as it comes out, on account that I'm poor as fuck :( Not to mention the Avengers!!

I think he has a bunch of excellent points. Kay. Carry on.

 

You know, sometimes I watch stuff, and I just want to share it. Because I feel like it expresses what I feel and they say it so much better. Yah.

So. Tiny little rant time. The digital media arts department of my school has declared that all DMA students need to buy themselves their own tablet. Not an iPad tablet, in case you're wondering, a drawing tablet. Which, if I hadn't just bought a Macbook, I would be all, fuck yeah! I'm getting a tablet. Time for arts. But, I did just buy a Macbook. I know why the department did it, the ones they use to provide for us kept getting taken, and they were kind of jank. Some of the pens were missing buttons, some of the screens were a tad glitchy. So we'll get better quality and save the department budget a bit, which can lead to cooler, better stuff elsewear, but I just bought a Mac! My bank account is super low. I still have a couple other text books I need to buy. I'm super poor. College is expensive, man.

Now, I have a feeling I'll end up loving my tablet. I'm looking at the Wacom Bamboo Create, which seems pretty reasonably priced and a pretty good quality tablet. And it means I can do even more homework off campus, which my mom will love, since I commute. And I would need it eventually for doing free lance stuff, or working from home, or doing commissions, stuff like that.

If any one wants to see my arts (which are mostly traditional art), here's a link to my DeviantArt page: Click me. If you want.

Pick up line time!!

I'm a sucker for clever renditions of my favorite stories

THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD. I don't even... How do they? He even mentions Kathryn De Bourg! So wonderful.

Okay. That's all. An entire post for this video because I AM IN LOVE. Who needs to find the love of your life when you can read about other people doing it? Ahem.

Also I'm really craving any food that's delicious. Anything. A donut, a hamburger, fries, MOUNTAIN DEW, cupcakes, bread, MOUNTAIN DEW. ....Mountain Dew's really important to me. I can't eat most of the delicious bad for you foods at least not for a bit, and then I still can't eat everything all the time. Though that might be gross. I have super bad bad cholesterol. Like, my mom broke the news by telling me I'm a heart attack waiting to happen. Which I don't believe is how people are supposed to break news. But c'est la vie. Anyways, I'm supposed to eat as little starch and sugar as possible. Which is super fucking HARD. I really like eating and food, you guys. In one of my favorite books (a Ring of Endless Light by Madeline L'Engle) There is this quote I adore. "Eating is an affirmation that you're alive." Eating as in wanting to eat, and liking to eat, and enjoying the food. Because, food is first of all, delicious. And secondly, it's beautiful. It can take hours to prepare and make some stuff, but it's wonderful. It's something you can make for yourself! And then bask in your success. Or cry over a messy kitchen, but whatever.

Though today I did eat some Subway. Because I thought I brought a bowl of tuna for lunch, (excellent source of protein) ANND turns out I grabbed guacamole. Yah. Since that, well yummy when paired with chips, would not keep me full till I go home and eat dinner, I ran out to get sustenance. I was going to go to McDonald's and get something, but they were packed. So I went to Subway, which must be at least a bit healthier. A bit.

PICK UP LINE TIME YYYAAAAAAAYYYYY

THIS :or: I'll stick with hamburgers for now

How many of you are tired of the Chik-fil-a thing? Me too. Though, I also want to say, I'm so tired of the way it's been handled. Up till now I hadn't really even wanted to talk about it. So many of my friends on Facebook posted about the appreciation day it and were all whoo Christian values! If more of them cussed, they prolly would have been all fuck yeah! And I'm so ready for it all to end.

Honestly, I didn't even really know exactly how I felt about it. I hadn't done alot of research, and all my "sources" were pro Chik-fil-a, so I couldn't even be sure I was getting both sides of the story. But then I read THIS. I think I know which side I'm on now. And it's not Chik-fil-a's side.

Now, if anyone who actually knows me is reading this, you may be going, "What? I thought you were a Christian!" Yah, well, I thought so too. But the whole goal of christians is to be like Christ. NOT to spend money on expensive though delicious chicken to prove a point. What point were you trying to prove anyways? Look at me, I'm standing in line to eat something because I believe that being gay is wrong! Look at me take a picture with my iPhone! Look at me as I drive homosexual people farther away from feeling welcome around Christians!

Now, Chik-fil-a, I'm not upset about you thinking marriage is about one man and one woman. Lots straight people think that too (though some don't yell it from the rooftops.) I'm not mad about you saying you support free speech, though honestly. This is America. And Americans fucking love free speech. And a day to appreciate delicious food? Who doesn't love delicious food? But this whole damn mess is so political, so line dividing, so isolating. I do not want to have to pick between being anti Chik-fil-a or anti gay. I mean, it shouldn't even make sense! What sense does it make to have to be either against gay people, who are PEOPLE WITH FEELINGS, or against a corporation, that mostly just wants your money and business.

Honestly. And to those who have gone to Chik-fil-a, and proudly declared it, I'm a bit disappointed in you. First off, you are excluding a group of people who you claim are sinners. That will certainly make those "sinners" want to come hear about Jesus! Next, I just want to share some scripture, you know, from the Bible: "When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. You've seen them in action, I'm sure—'playactors' I call them— treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that's all they get. When you help someone out, don't think about how it looks. Just do it—quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out. So. That's Matthew 6:2-4, message version, in case you were wondering. And I feel like it is super applicable.


I prolly won't eat Chik-fil-a anytime soon. We're called to LOVE. Not eat chicken. Not point out what we see as other people's sins. And if we do end up doing these things, we aren't supposed to have giant signs saying "Look at me!! Look what I support!" Though if I do eat at Chik-fil-a, I want y'all to know it's to eat chicken. Not to make a point, or say that I'm for or against anything. It's to eat food. Just to fucking eat food.


I feel disappointed. It's not the first time, won't be the last. I just want everyone to be happy and like each other and get along. But maybe that's just not possible. And I'm pretty sure it's not the homosexual community who's standing in the way.

Here's a beautiful quote by the beautiful Darren Criss:

 
                                  Bravo, Darren! Bravo! Why are you so wonderful?




And finally, I found a pick up line that I thought was ironic. Cause irony can be fun.

Blessed and Clumsy :or: I have the best friends anyone could ask for

This week has been awesome. I've gotten to see some wonderful people that I haven't in super long, AND... I'm getting a Macbook soon. I've also felt so fucking clumsy. Like, I got stains on a BRAND NEW SKIRT twice the first time I wore it. TWICE. I was at this frozen yogurt place for my sister's birthday (she's getting old. Halfway to 50), and I went to add some whipped cream, cause you know, why not? And it spluttered. I've dropped stuff. I got some blood drawn for blood work/tests and almost passed out. (Though, really, who needs FOUR FUCKING VIALS OF BLOOD anyways? There's got to be a better way than to draw out my blood.) 

So. I've felt like my week has been awesome. I got to see my Amanda, and Danni, and Danielle, and Kelsey, and on Friday I'm going to see another friend! And we shall sit and drink coffee and chat, and I shall try not to Instagram my Starbucks... I only recently got a phone that can use Instagram. I like it. Lots. But on the other hand, it's like I need to be clumsy to almost counter balance it. Maybe I can't just go from having no social life to seeing bunches of people without having a bunch of super awkwardness somewhere in my life. I'm super happy I finally have something to talk about though!

I would like to add, about the blood drawing... It was supposed to be a non fasting blood work, but since I hadn't eaten since before 7:30 that morning, and my mom wanted to get it done before we went to Subway, it turned into fasting. Which may have been a large part of the reason I almost fainted. (But I didn't! I didn't black out! ....I was close. But I didn't!) Plus, four vials. FOUR VIALS. My blood is supposed to stay in my body, thank you very much. Gah. I hate having blood drawn or getting injections/vaccinations. And people wonder why I don't give blood.

And now the part you've all been waiting for.... PICK UP LINE TIME

Still don't have anything to ramble about so picture spam time!

 I found most of these on Pinterest, and couple on Tumblr... I didn't find anything that said "Do not use", so if you know that this is someone's picture or what have you, and they wouldn't want it on here, please let me know, and I'll take it off.

Have a fantabulous day.