So, I was going to have a post about Snape, and my feelings on him. But then I just wasn't feeling it. Maybe someday I'll write about him, but today is not that day.
Today, I just wanted to share some quotes. And songs. And stuff. You know, just stuff that speaks to me.
Because I think it's important to share such things. I don't know about you, but sometimes it's hard for me to find the right words, or say what I really think. I don't always even know how I think; I know how I feel and I know there are a plethora of words out there, beautiful words, but they just aren't coming together for me. And so when I find something that rings true, or a new life motto, I think it should be shared. I mean, it's a way to finally say, this is what I think, this is who I want to be. And I think that's beautiful.
I'm going to start something, to try and make myself update more frequently. I'm going to start Friday fun facts, and just share something. Every Friday. So if nothing else, I will post on Fridays.
So. I've learned a lot of stuff over this past semester. Actually, prolly the whole academic year, but everything before January seems like a lifetime ago, so we're going to focus on this semester.
While I've learned a ton in all my classes, I'm going to focus mostly on the things I learned outside of the classroom. Some are things about myself, some just random things. But all things I've learned about myself.
First off, I need my sleep. It's very important to me that I get my sleep, and if it means I sleep between 12 and 14 hours on Saturday and Sunday, so be it.
Maya is actually a enormously enjoyable program, and I'm so happy I got to experience it more, and become fairly comfortable in it.
Laughing till you think you might legitly pee yourself is an amazing feeling. Not the feeling like you might pee, but just laughing that much.
In life, my main goal is to be happy. It's what I want to be when I grow up.
My secondary goal is to love people.
Sometimes you need to get away from people.
It is completely fine and okay to say no. Your mental and emotional health is more important than agreeing to do something, just because you want to please someone else.
Just because you might not like how you look, or like your body does not mean you don't love yourself. It is fine to not feel okay in your own skin.
McDonald's sweet tea is actually wonderful, and I never knew that till a couple weeks ago.
Sometimes people you consider "too cool" for you are just as nerdy, and make great friends.
It's okay to be uncertain about what you want to do. The rest of your life is a long time, and you should take all the fucking time you need. I'm actually going to share a video done below that I feel perfectly says that.
I want to make stuff that I'm proud of. I want to be able to look at what I've done and say, "I'm so fucking proud of this. You don't understand, I made this, and I'm PROUD of it." Honestly, when I feel really satisfied with something I've done, good grades or praise is just a nice little side benefit.
I also wanted to share this video with everyone. As someone who honestly doesn't know what the fuck she really REALLY wants to do after college, it's so wonderful to hear someone talk about this.
But honestly, I get so pissed when I hear people say, "Oh, Abi wants to do this, or go on to do this, or work at this studio." Bitch, no. You do not get to tell people that, and half the time you get it wrong. Please, stop. I mean, I know what I enjoy now, and I have tentative thoughts of what I'd like to do after I graduate. But I have heard people say I want to work for Disney, and that's not true. I mean, I would love to work for Disney, and it would be such an honor, but it's not my dream (ironic, huh?)
All I know for the future is I want to make stuff I am fucking proud of, and be happy.
I mean, I do still have to show up and eat donuts tomorrow. But I had my only test today, and I feel good about it, and I am DONE, baby. Though who thought having a final at eight in the morning was a good idea? Honestly, who.
But, yeah. So, I guess I'm a junior now? That's cool. I'm extremely pleased with how my projects this semester turned out, and how I did in my classes, over all.
If you would like to see some of my final projects, I can help you with that. I mean, I've also shared some of the pre work, and frames and whatnot before, but here's the FINAL
Aww yeah. Do you see that fur? And those nicely textured horns? I modeled, textured, lit, and animated this baby all by myself. I mean, there wasn't a ton of animating, it was mostly just the smoke, and setting perimeters for that. And I figured out how to use a file/PNG to color the fur, and ugh, I enjoyed this project so much. This is one of the 2 things I feel most proud about in my two years at Huntington.
Though one of the smoke did get boxy at the end, and I'm pretty sure I know why it happened. But I'm pretty disappointed I didn't notice it before rendering it out. Maybe during the summer I'll fix it and re-render it out.
So, this puppet, (who I named Mel.) is my other great pride and joy of my college career. I even got an outstanding! And forty dollars, which will be going to my Darren Criss ticket. I feel like I should clarify, the department gives out an outstanding and runner up award to the best in each class during our Animation Showcase. And for stopmotion, I was the one who got outstanding! Aahhh! Honestly, I just was happy my work was shown, and people seemed to like my pieces that made it in. Getting awarded was just icing on the cake. You know what I mean?
The showcase was awesome, everyone's stuff was so legit and wonderful! I was going to try to post links, but I couldn't find any. Bbooooooooo. They were SO GOOD.
One of my other pieces that was in the showcase that I was also super proud of was this one:
I really enjoyed hearing the audience's reaction, that was wonderful. I pretty much sat there, shaking my fist in happiness, and going YYIIIISSSSSSSS. I wish the words had been held a bit longer, but c'est la vie. The point was still mostly made, and the audience's reaction was beautiful.
My final for Toonboom isn't up yet, since I only have basic vimeo, I only get one HD video a week, so next Tuesday, it'll prolly be posted. And then I'll share it, or something. I actually ended up liking my final, I wasn't too happy with it, and felt I still didn't know the program very well. But somehow, I just finished, watched it, and was okay with it. Maybe even a teensy bit proud. Adding sound helped too.
When I put that up on Vimeo, I'll share it
Has anyone else missed pick up lines? Cause i sure have. Let's have a hey girl edition! It'll be fun.
I have had every color hair, at some point or other. Now, some of them were just streaks, it wasn't all over color, and I haven't had every shade, sadly. However, I have had brown hair, black hair, ginger hair, blond, bright red hair, purple hair, bits of pink, blue, green, yellow, orange. And RED. Lots of red.
Pretty much my whole freshman year, and all of last semester, I had red hair. I loved it. And while freshman me had almost natural ginger type thing going, sophomore me had RED hair. Like, fuckin Little Mermaid red. It was wonderful. I mean, yes, it faded quickly, and I dyed my hair once a month, but I loved it. And I mean, LITTLE MERMAID. ARIEL. I was practically Ariel. Who is my favorite Disney princess, and prolly the one I relate to the most. But that's another topic.
But now, I have gone back to my original brunette. Or at least my roots are finally starting to get long enough to tell what my original brown looks like, and it's pretty close. And the thing is, I think having brown hair made me more timid.
Here's the thing. When I had red hair, I already had part of my personality out there for people to judge. Like, here I am. What do ya think? It was easier to be outgoing, somehow. Easier to talk with people, or something.
With brown hair, I feel like I kind of just fade into the background. It's easier to not open up, to just be there. I don't know, but I just do not feel as comfortable somehow. Or too comfortable.
It did really help when I got my nose pierced it somehow put back that element of, here I am! It's not quite the same, but it's a step in the right direction.
This summer, I am trying to get my hair as healthy as I can. I'm not going to dye it, I'm going to treat it right. Get those vitamins in to promote healthy hair, do some masks, really take care of it. And then next semester, like in August, I'm going back to red hair. And then it should look better, feel better, and just have an overall healthier vibe to it, so when I put the chemicals and stuff in, it won't be as damaging.
When I looked up red hair, I started getting kind of jealous. A) all these people's hair looks fantastic. It's all so gorgeous, and B) lots of them have tattoos. SO JELLY. But here are my inspirations for next fall.
If you are in college, or know someone in college, you might be aware that it's about finals time. Now, I have another full week of classes, and then finals. Other schools are already emptied out of their students. I envy them.
I feel drained. I have some homework up, that I could be working on. But I can't focus on it for anything. I go, type a sentence or two, leave. Do something else. I would love to just take a nap right now, and then attempt to get everything done, but my motivation is fried. Which just adds more stress, as I really want to do well in all my projects, but I don't care anymore, but I want to do well, you feel me?
Most of my stuff is due by Thursday night, so that we can submit it for the Spring Showcase, so after that it should be smooth sailing. Hopefully. After that I should just have my Psych test to worry about, all my other classes are heavily project based, so all you do is show up when the final is scheduled.
All I've wanted to do for the past 3 days is to just go sit somewhere quiet, and not have to react to anything. Maybe sit in a coffee shop and draw, maybe finally catch up on the latest episode of Doctor Who (which I've had since Monday, and haven't gotten around to watching yet), maybe just sleeping. Just, as long as I don't have to DO anything. I understand that the end of the semester is when you get to show the culmination of all your work, and bring out the best stuff after months of learning. But all these big projects are stressing me out.
Now, looking at it all critically, I know mentally that it's all manageable. I'll be fine, and I'll end up having made something I'm proud of. I've put so much into my assignments all semester, and I think I got a good return, and I'm sure my final projects will be good as well.
But feeling based, all I know is that my head hurts, I've been tired and sleep deprived and weary since Monday night, I have so much to do, I don't want to let people down, I just feel like I could start bawling at any moment, and people around me are starting relationships. Which leads to talking and feelings and shit. This all adds up to me feeling EXHAUSTED. I even got at least 8 hours of sleep for the past two nights, and I almost feel more tired.
I don't want to complain too much, I mean, I do love my major and I'm passionate about my projects (or I am when I'm not too tired to care). The thing is, I feel like I've just been going and going and going for the past month. I'm so happy the end is close, because I don't think I could keep going and stay in a healthy place for much longer.
It's funny, cause I see pictures like this, and it's just like, no. I am tired. I mean, yes, maybe there are a couple other emotions there, like stress. But right now, all I feel is tired. Honestly, the thought that tomorrow is Saturday, and I get to sleep for hours is one of the few things keeping me going right now.
That was all long and dreary. If you got all the way through it, bless your face. Thank you for reading through my feelings. Or current lack there of.
Welp. It's been a while, and I've missed it. If nothing else, pick up lines are good for a chuckle. I don't know about you, but I can most definitely use a smile or some laughter.