Tuesday, November 19, 2013

An actual blog post with actual words :or: How can you not like the thing?

After a couple months of long inaction except sharing some of my homework stuff, I am finally posting a thing about how I feel about other things.

Cause I have feelings that I want to share and junk.

So, as a Digital Media Arts student who is expected to immerse her self in good media, I often hear people say, "How can you not have seen this? You aren't a real DMA student! You make me sad. You need to see this! Your life is incomplete. Your life isn't complete until you've seen this!"

Um. Excuse me. Who the fuck are you to judge my life, or the quality of my life, because I haven't seen something that you qualify as "amazing." There are a shit ton of things I've never experienced that could impact my life, or make my life complete that I will never get to experience. And this is not my fault, or the fault of people around, but just things where the opportunity may never come up, or maybe it won't even cross paths with me.

Now, I love the Labyrinth. I really really adore it. My good friend Amanda hasn't seen, and she doesn't really care to. She's just not interested from what she's seen of it. But the other day, she mentioned this, and someone else practically had an aneurysm over it, because Amanda's life was not complete, and it was their childhood, and how could Amanda not have seen it, it's so good blah blah.

This next bit is going to seem a bit off topic at first, but it'll make sense in the end.

I like to wear makeup. It's a thing that I just enjoy. When I don't wear makeup, I feel weird. Not as in an "I'm so naked, no one look at me I have nothing on my face" weird, but as in a, "Man, I really miss how my eyeliner and mascara create this effect and my lips look hella fine in this shade." I especially like wearing lip liners, and I could go on and on about lip liners. But the point I am trying to get at is this; I would never say some one else's life is lacking because they have never worn lip liner.

How presumptuous would I sound if I said that? Especially about something that doesn't even fucking matter. And the thing that really gets me, that really pisses me off, is that sometimes these things never entire our world, through absolutely no fault of our own, and people still act indignant that we've never seen the thing.

Back to the lip liner metaphor, it'd be like saying "You've never used lip liner? But you NEED to wear it, your life isn't complete until you've worn lip liner, this makes me sad, lip liner means so much to me.!"

Here's the thing; if you want to wear lip liner, or watch certain movies or tv shows, or listen to a certain type of music, go for it. Fucking go for it, and enjoy it, and don't apologize about it. And if you've never seen a thing, or don't like certain things, then don't worry about it. If you want to experience it, then go forth and do so. If you have no interest in it, then don't bother.

Life is too short to waste time watching films you don't like because some asshole think's you are missing out.

Life is too short to listen to things you don't care about.

Life is too short to not go for broke.

To live would be an awfully big adventure, so don't waste time you could be spending on things you want to do because some one else thinks you NEED to do a certain thing.

Yeah Vintage album covers!

Everybody wants to rule the world by ~purplypanda20 on deviantART

Monday, August 5, 2013

HAhahahahAHAaaaaa people update their blogs what

I'm a horrible person. I'm sorry. The thing is, I actually have like, 3 different topics that I want to blog about. And I have for the past month.
But have you ever had something you wanted to address but somehow you just couldn't figure out how to start, or feel like it's the right time for you to tackle it?

Instead of an actual post, here are some screenshots, pretty much all for Tumblr.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Friday Fun Fact #9

I have low blood pressure, that I will grow out of eventually; according to the doctor.

I'm 20. If I could grow out of it already, that'd be great

Friday, July 19, 2013

Friday Fun Fact #8

My favorite animals are: owls, foxes, octopi.
In that order.

If I could be an animal, I'd either want to be a fox or a spoiled housecat.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

blog/article/post recomendation


I found this lovely article last night. And then I read it a couple times. I don't know what to say about it, other than that it's well worth reading.

I think the thing is, I've felt this way. I've even thought about writing a blog on the subject. But it's hard to pull it all together, these things build up, they happen over time, I barely remember anything before I was 6.

So. If you have some time, I would highly suggest reading this post. The rest of the blog is fantastic as well, I was disappointed there weren't more I could read.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Friday Fun Fact #7

I prefer paperback books over hard covers. Paperbacks are easier to hold, and easier to carry with you places

Friday, June 21, 2013

On bodies :or: I do not have to love my body

Stop telling women that we should find ourselves beautiful and that we should love ourselves when you are standing right there, judging us on how our knees look in short skirts and how prominent our boobs are in a sweater and how much makeup we are or are not wearing.
Instead of us working harder on “love your body” and “find your inner beauty”, the rest of the world should be working harder on “stop telling women their bodies are a shameful place to live but that if they’re strong enough, they will learn to embrace that shame.”
This is my body. It’s not “beautiful”. I don’t “love it”. I don’t have to. I don’t have to have any strong feelings about my body. And whatever feelings I do have are not somehow invalid if they’re not glowing reviews.
— Elyse Mofo, “Don’t Tell Me to Love My Body” 

So the links don't work when I copied it over, so lemme just get those for you. Just in case you want them. THE WHOLE POSt HERE .

It's really good. And as someone who's not skinny, but not quite overweight, I have felt these things. I'm at the point were I love me, and I'm okay with myself, but I definitely don't love my body. I mean, it does what it's supposed to, it gets me places, keeps me mostly healthy and not sick, whatever.

And the part of I'm supposed to feel about my body because of how some else thinks I should feel about my body? Okay, I had this assignment for one of my classes this past semester. The project was to draw ourselves, and then draw ourselves walking. Not a big deal, right?

I couldn't figure out how to draw myself. If I drew myself too chubby, inevitablly some one would say to me, you're not fat! But if I drew myself too skinny, I would feel like I lied, and I was worried people would judge me for making myself too skinny. I ended up going on the skinny side. There are only so many times you can hear that you aren't fat, especially from skinny people before you want to just be like, YES I AM. Just trust me on this. I'm not obese, and I'm not terribly overweight, but I do have more fat than I would like.

Here's the video, if you would like to see it:

Walk Across from Abi Freeland on Vimeo.

I mean, it's not horribly off, but it is still skinnier than me. Oh, but I am really proud of that shirt. I mostly figured out how to do that by myself, and oh my glob, so many proud feelings. 

I also have some thoughts on nudity and how society handles it, which I keep meaning to type up and get out there, so keep your eyes peeled for that sometime in the next few weeks.

Pick up time!! yay! It's been too long.

Friday Fun Fact #4

I'm a huge fan of alliteration.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Friday Fun fact #3


I don't think you realize how excited I am. I've had a countdown for the last month. And I keep freaking out about it.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Friday Fun Fact #2

My favorite songs right now are:

I've Got What it Takes by Alex Day

La Seine and I from A Monster in Paris (I like the French version best)

Pretend by Lights

Honorable mention to One Day More from Les Mis. I just can't stop loving it....

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Quotes and Life Mottos

So, I was going to have a post about Snape, and my feelings on him. But then I just wasn't feeling it. Maybe someday I'll write about him, but today is not that day.

Today, I just wanted to share some quotes. And songs. And stuff. You know, just stuff that speaks to me.

Because I think it's important to share such things. I don't know about you, but sometimes it's hard for me to find the right words, or say what I really think. I don't always even know how I think; I know how I feel and I know there are a plethora of words out there, beautiful words, but they just aren't coming together for me. And so when I find something that rings true, or a new life motto, I think it should be shared. I mean, it's a way to finally say, this is what I think, this is who I want to be. And I think that's beautiful.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

What I learned this past semester :or: the start of something new

I'm going to start something, to try and make myself update more frequently. I'm going to start Friday fun facts, and just share something. Every Friday. So if nothing else, I will post on Fridays.

So. I've learned a lot of stuff over this past semester. Actually, prolly the whole academic year, but everything before January seems like a lifetime ago, so we're going to focus on this semester.
While I've learned a ton in all my classes, I'm going to focus mostly on the things I learned outside of the classroom. Some are things about myself, some just random things. But all things I've learned about myself.

  • First off, I need my sleep. It's very important to me that I get my sleep, and if it means I sleep between 12 and 14 hours on Saturday and Sunday, so be it. 
  • Maya is actually a enormously enjoyable program, and I'm so happy I got to experience it more, and become fairly comfortable in it.
  • Laughing till you think you might legitly pee yourself is an amazing feeling. Not the feeling like you might pee, but just laughing that much.
  • In life, my main goal is to be happy. It's what I want to be when I grow up.
  • My secondary goal is to love people.
  • Sometimes you need to get away from people.
  • It is completely fine and okay to say no. Your mental and emotional health is more important than agreeing to do something, just because you want to please someone else.
  • Just because you might not like how you look, or like your body does not mean you don't love yourself. It is fine to not feel okay in your own skin.
  • McDonald's sweet tea is actually wonderful, and I never knew that till a couple weeks ago.
  • Sometimes people you consider "too cool" for you are just as nerdy, and make great friends.
  • It's okay to be uncertain about what you want to do. The rest of your life is a long time, and you should take all the fucking time you need. I'm actually going to share a video done below that I feel perfectly says that.
And finally:

  • I want to make stuff that I'm proud of. I want to be able to look at what I've done and say, "I'm so fucking proud of this. You don't understand, I made this, and I'm PROUD of it." Honestly, when I feel really satisfied with something I've done, good grades or praise is just a nice little side benefit.

I also wanted to share this video with everyone. As someone who honestly doesn't know what the fuck she really REALLY wants to do after college, it's so wonderful to hear someone talk about this.

But honestly, I get so pissed when I hear people say, "Oh, Abi wants to do this, or go on to do this, or work at this studio." Bitch, no. You do not get to tell people that, and half the time you get it wrong. Please, stop. I mean, I know what I enjoy now, and I have tentative thoughts of what I'd like to do after I graduate. But I have heard people say I want to work for Disney, and that's not true. I mean, I would love to work for Disney, and it would be such an honor, but it's not my dream (ironic, huh?)

All I know for the future is I want to make stuff I am fucking proud of, and be happy.

Quick pick up line time!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Guess who's done for the semester??

I mean, I do still have to show up and eat donuts tomorrow. But I had my only test today, and I feel good about it, and I am DONE, baby. Though who thought having a final at eight in the morning was a good idea? Honestly, who.

But, yeah. So, I guess I'm a junior now? That's cool. I'm extremely pleased with how my projects this semester turned out, and how I did in my classes, over all.

If you would like to see some of my final projects, I can help you with that. I mean, I've also shared some of the pre work, and frames and whatnot before, but here's the FINAL

From my 3D character design class:

This cow is on FIRE from Abi Freeland on Vimeo.

Aww yeah. Do you see that fur? And those nicely textured horns? I modeled, textured, lit, and animated this baby all by myself. I mean, there wasn't a ton of animating, it was mostly just the smoke, and setting perimeters for that. And I figured out how to use a file/PNG to color the fur, and ugh, I enjoyed this project so much. This is one of the 2 things I feel most proud about in my two years at Huntington.

Though one of the smoke did get boxy at the end, and I'm pretty sure I know why it happened. But I'm pretty disappointed I didn't notice it before rendering it out. Maybe during the summer I'll fix it and re-render it out.

My Stopmotion final:

Stopmotion Final from Abi Freeland on Vimeo.

So, this puppet, (who I named Mel.) is my other great pride and joy of my college career. I even got an outstanding! And forty dollars, which will be going to my Darren Criss ticket. I feel like I should clarify, the department gives out an outstanding and runner up award to the best in each class during our Animation Showcase. And for stopmotion, I was the one who got outstanding! Aahhh! Honestly, I just was happy my work was shown, and people seemed to like my pieces that made it in. Getting awarded was just icing on the cake. You know what I mean?

The showcase was awesome, everyone's stuff was so legit and wonderful! I was going to try to post links, but I couldn't find any. Bbooooooooo. They were SO GOOD.

One of my other pieces that was in the showcase that I was also super proud of was this one:

Peep project from Abi Freeland on Vimeo.

I really enjoyed hearing the audience's reaction, that was wonderful. I pretty much sat there, shaking my fist in happiness, and going YYIIIISSSSSSSS. I wish the words had been held a bit longer, but c'est la vie. The point was still mostly made, and the audience's reaction was beautiful.

My final for Toonboom isn't up yet, since I only have basic vimeo, I only get one HD video a week, so next Tuesday, it'll prolly be posted. And then I'll share it, or something. I actually ended up liking my final, I wasn't too happy with it, and felt I still didn't know the program very well. But somehow, I just finished, watched it, and was okay with it. Maybe even a teensy bit proud. Adding sound helped too.

When I put that up on Vimeo, I'll share it

Has anyone else missed pick up lines? Cause i sure have. Let's have a hey girl edition! It'll be fun.

I feel better now :)

Friday, May 10, 2013

Dose curls

For some reason, the things I feel motivated to do are not the things that are due. Though it made rending seem faster, soooo

I just really like her hair....

Merida by ~purplypanda20 on deviantART

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Theories on hair color affecting personality :or: I miss my red hair.

I  have had every color hair, at some point or other. Now, some of them were just streaks, it wasn't all over color, and I haven't had every shade, sadly. However, I have had brown hair, black hair, ginger hair, blond, bright red hair, purple hair, bits of pink, blue, green, yellow, orange. And RED. Lots of red.

Pretty much my whole freshman year, and all of last semester, I had red hair. I loved it. And while freshman me had almost natural ginger type thing going, sophomore me had RED hair. Like, fuckin Little Mermaid red. It was wonderful. I mean, yes, it faded quickly, and I dyed my hair once a month, but I loved it. And I mean, LITTLE MERMAID. ARIEL. I was practically Ariel. Who is my favorite Disney princess, and prolly the one I relate to the most. But that's another topic.

 But now, I have gone back to my original brunette. Or at least my roots are finally starting to get long enough to tell what my original brown looks like, and it's pretty close. And the thing is, I think having brown hair made me more timid. 

Here's the thing. When I had red hair, I already had part of my personality out there for people to judge. Like, here I am. What do ya think? It was easier to be outgoing, somehow. Easier to talk with people, or something.

With brown hair, I feel like I kind of just fade into the background. It's easier to not open up, to just be there. I don't know, but I just do not feel as comfortable somehow. Or too comfortable. 

It did really help when I got my nose pierced it somehow put back that element of, here I am! It's not quite the same, but it's a step in the right direction.

This summer, I am trying to get my hair as healthy as I can. I'm not going to dye it, I'm going to treat it right. Get those vitamins in to promote healthy hair, do some masks, really take care of it. And then next semester, like in August, I'm going back to red hair. And then it should look better, feel better, and just have an overall healthier vibe to it, so when I put the chemicals and stuff in, it won't be as damaging. 

When I looked up red hair, I started getting kind of jealous. A) all these people's hair looks fantastic. It's all so gorgeous, and B) lots of them have tattoos. SO JELLY. But here are my inspirations for next fall.