Thursday, November 6, 2014

I'm in love with Blank Spzce, tbh

Darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

I should blog more

But I'm don't. Oopsie. I have another blog (this is actually me going to be gushing over my senior project I'm so sorry. Feel free to scroll on, I hate feeling like I'm just pushing things I've done in people's faces, I'm so sorry) I keep blogging to the other blog, and then I'm like, yeah that's good. I don't have any other blogging things to do, I have finished all the blogging I need to do. And it's not true but I fall for it every time.

HOWEVER, speaking of games, my whole senior project is a game which right now is called Project Oriana. (we have a website. and a twitter. and a tumblr. and a facebook. I'm not saying you should like us, but just in case: Facebook! ) And it's so cool because we get to research other games and their process, and all the concept art is gorgeous and building a story and a journey is so intricate and magical. I'm also doing alot of color keys, and color is like my favorite thing in the whole world (except maybe female superheros.)

Games aren't just a way to waste time, it's an interactive story that you get to experience, often first hand. And it's wonderful.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

I made my own background for things so that's pretty cool I guess

I made a background for my blogs,  if anyone would like this a huge as file for backgrounds or whatever (with out my giant abifreeland blah blah blah), let me know and I can make it available for people

Friday, October 24, 2014

a WIP of a thing I'm working on

Storm is one of my favorite x-men, so strong and elegant. I'm still figuring out the drawing, so it may change radically before it's done.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Because I definitely need another tumblr

Spooky Ghosts doing their best at Haunting, bless

I'm trying to switch over to having a tumblr {CLICK HERE} for my art as opposed to my main website being deviant art for my drawings. I'll still put things up on deviantart, but not as much. So! If you would be so kind to maybe give it a look, I'd be so grateful!

Here is my most recent inktober sketch, I missed 2 days near the beginning due to feeling shitty and needing a ton of sleep, but I'm really hoping to stay strong for the rest of the month!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

In defense of Rose Tyler

I have some pretty serious love for Rose Tyler. You have no idea. Like, my senior/junior year of high school I started watching Doctor Who and Rose meant the world to me.

Lets talk about Rose Tyler. She comes in, kind of as a no one. She didn't finish all her schooling, she lives with her mum, she works at a shop. Her mascara is clumpy like the rest of our's. She didn't have perfect makeup, or little hipster-y esque dresses. She was unappologetically Rose. She's not shaped like a model. Her isn't always shiny and ready to softly fall back down around her shoulders.

I don't understand people who want to be the Doctor. He is this sad old man, weighed down by guilt and pain. His companions come along and while they don't make him forget, they make him a bit less sad. These regular people come along, and show him a new way to see the things he has already things. The Doctor can seem magical, but it's the small humans who bring the magic.

"In 900 years of time and space I have never met anyone who is not important."

So back to Rose Tyler, in all her pink and yellow glory. Our nobody. Our everybody. We get to go on this adventure in the TARDIS because Rose is a no one. Rose has no background history with the Doctor, She didn't grow up with the Doctor and fish fingers. She wasn't raised to be an assassin to kill the Doctor. Her past and the Doctor's are completely separate.

Don't get me wrong, I do love Amy and Rory and River and Clara. But their whole existence has been influenced because of the Doctor. Before they are themselves, they are the Doctor's companions. They are harder to relate to, because they come in with this connection to the Doctor. And if you've watched Doctor Who for a while, I guess you too also have this connection.

But we are no bodies. We are the ones who know nothing, who are just along for the ride, and that is so important. So fucking important. In that moment we are the companion that keeps the Doctor human, it's because of us that the wonders of the universe stay awe inspiring.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I'm just always such a sucker for fairytales

I have such a problem with fairytales. I love them, but maybe that's not quite strong enough a term. I fucking adore them. All throughout my childhood, I consumed books with such a passion, and fairytales (and fantasy and scify but mostly fairytale) were always my favorite.

Like, I'm still a bit really obsessed with Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and I just got a tattoo that's my favorite quote from Peter Pan. (and also means something more to me cause anxiety. So like a double whammy) If something is fairytale themed or fairytale esque, I am at least willing to give it a chance. Except Once Upon a Time, cause it seems like they're are just sucking Disney's dick for views and I'm not about that life. OUaT is now one of those things that make me irrationally mad whenever I think about it. I used to watch it and now it's just like staawp it what are you doing with your life

But fairytales. I've always been obsessed, and I prolly always will be. There's something dreamy and whimsical and mystical that just makes me feel satisfied and sated. They just lend themselves so nicely and you can read them and you feel like maybe you have new knowledge but it doesn't feel pushed on you. Fairytales are tales unapologetic, and that is something I'm all about. Just putting yourself out there and saying here I am. This is where I am, and this is where I stay. I am waiting for vazinni. Like, people tend to just accept these charming old fables. Whether they like these stories or nah, they still just accept them.

And they can become so dark and twisted, and sometimes they don't end how we want them to, and that can be so important. These are safe places. These are places we can see things from a different point of view but also from where we are and where we are coming from. We can face the dragon, and we can know that the dragon can be defeated, and we can do this while surrounded by blankets and tea. Or we can fall down the rabbit hole and get lost and discover that even though we might almost lose our heads, we will still make it home back to Dinah. I'm not going to mention Peter Pan cause that is so deliciously haunting and doesn't always leave us with a comfortable feeling in our stomachs, and it shouldn't. It's definitely a cautionary tale.

But fairytales take us from where we are and place us in our dreams without having to fall asleep. This seems to be something the church especially seems to forget constantly. They preach the good news, and then spend the other 93% of time assuming that now that you know the good news, casual mentions of this whimsical intricate tale is enough. Like, well, these people all know the story, now lets only drop super obscure references and hope it gives enough comfort to all these basic parishioners.

We do need more of the whimsy, more of the mystical, of the magical, of the enchanting. Hook me on this fantasmical tale, don't just mention it and then string me along with casual mentions while making me feel like shit. Spin me a web of wonder and hope mixed with the shitty fucked up bits, cause they all belong together. They are all part of the same story, not things that are to be proclaimed separately. The comedy, tragedy, and fairytale should all be entwined as that's what life just is.

We are the kids running around, not knowing where we are going or where we will end up, but dammit we are going to experience it anyways. Life is this wonderful, beautiful thing. Let's not fool ourselves and pretend everything is golden and perfect, but get through it all by knowing while things might not be perfect there will be golden days out there, and maybe happy every after is a thing we can experience and not just dream about.

I could prolly go on and on and on until happy ever after, so I'm going to wrap this up. Have a beautiful poem that vaguely relates [click here you presh lil human] .
The bottom 3 pictures are from James A. Owen's The Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica, which is my favorite series.

 Have a great day. Or don't. You do you.

(I also wrote this in a blog thing full of a bunch of christian ish students at a christian university. In case you're like, there is a lot more about the church than typical. Yeah. I know. I thought I should bring it all together more.)

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I have nothing better to do with my life rn so hey

I like blogging, it's just always so much work to actually type things, you feel me?

See, I have all these thoughts, and there are even some things that I could rant about for hours, but it's difficult to sit down and gather them all together. A cohesive hot mess. A literary cohesive hot mess. I want to get better, but then I spend time with people or I'm drawing or dancing along to music or staring moodily out into the rain while reading poems by Andrea Gibson.

Recently I've felt like I need to constantly multitask or I get jittery. Listening to music helps, or watching a TV show, but there's still always that thought of I want to also be doing something else. Like, its not that I want to stop what I'm doing, it's that I also want to be doing more other things at the same time. And then, of course you have to intently check out what the distractions are, you can't have a mediocre thing on the side. You gotta pick them carefully. Which also takes time.

And right in the middle of that, I got distracted by makeup and Sephora. Damn, I really want the Bare Minerals Bare Skin foundation. My favorite youtuber uses it and it looks great on her, plus it's about 20 dollars less than the Nars foundation I previously wanted.

Maybe it's a side affect of my generation. We always have our phones on us, we can typically search for whatever we need from wherever we are. I tend to have a couple conversations going in different apps and messengers, sometimes with the same person. I can talk to people via texting, facebook messenger, snapchat, twitter, twitter dm, tumblr, or talking face to face, all at the same time.

One of the few times I don't feel the need to do more than one thing is when I'm lost in a book, or (pretty rarely) when I'm drawing and I start to almost hyperfocus. It's a beautiful thing to get lost in creations, wether they are things you are creating or other people are creating. It brings some sense of wonder and awe. As a kid, I would tend to get so devoted and intent towards a book, the only thing I would stop reading for is my mom trying to talk to me. Every single other thing I blocked out. I still tend to have that overwhelming sense of, this book is my everything right now. I devour the words and feel a sense of acute loss when it's done.

Maybe I need to read more to get back that feeling of complete devotedness to one thing. Then maybe I'll stop feeling the need to check all my social media every 5 minutes while I'm working on important things.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Cutie Patootie

Blckwdw by purplypanda20 on deviantART


I have a friend who doesn't like gifts
And it makes no sense to me
Cause seeing people I love happy
Means the world to me

I'm a selfish person
And my friends happiness is my favorite thing
And if it costs me a dollar for a pop from a gas station 
To just put a smile on their face
Or a cheap coffee at 3 in the morning to make them feel a bit better 
About the shit ton of work they still have to do
I think it's worth it

They gift me with their presence 

I want to make them happy
And when I'm broke 
And it feels like I just bum around them all
It kills me a bit inside
And I kinda want to cry
Cause my friends deserve the fucking world 
And if I want to give them it all
Starting with a half gallon of chocolate milk
Or some oreos