But, I do have a board for something in the future. This is just full of possible ideas and thoughts and inklings. I have an extreme desire to organize, and fill someplace full of me and the things that I love. Once, when I was in eighth or tenth grade, I got crazy excited. Because I realized, one day, I would be able to choose my own laundry detergent. I got excited because of laundry detergent. I could be wrong, but I don't think that's something that runs through every teenagers head. I want a home of my own. I don't know if any of you have read the House on Mango Street (It's a great book that I adore). But I connected to the main character, Esperanza, who desperately wants a home of her own. Well, she also wants to leave her neighborhood, but the point still stands. She wants it desperately.
I want a home of my own. I want to find a place to live, and go shopping for a couch, and pillows, and rugs, and kitchen stuff, and a bed, and knick knacks. I want knick knacks, guys. Knick knacks. I want to decorate and paint.
Some of my friends have become homesick. Or, they already were homesick, and it's only gotten worse. Others have been worried about what others think of them. While it's kind of hard to be too homesick when you commute, and still sleep in your own bed, and see your mom pretty much every morning, I do get worrying about if people like being my friend, if I'm annoying them, if they truly do like being around me. And it kills me inside to hear others feeling this way. I want my friends to feel loved. I want them to know they are wonderful, and talented. They're all so talented. I adore them all so much. They are fantastic, and phenomenal, and if somebody doesn't tell me to stop I'll just keep rambling about how extraordinary and wonderful they all are.
I kind of want to be home for them. It sounds a bit weird, wanting to be home for people. But I just want to make everyone feel safe and happy and cherished. If I make people feel even a bit better about themselves, I will count that as a success.
I thought I'd do a thing were I share some things that currently make me happy. Because if something makes you happy, there's a good chance it makes someone else happy, which means I'm not just sharing some random stuff, I'm sharing happiness. Which is pretty fucking cool.
Some songs that are consistently replayed:
Thrift Shop by Macklemore
Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds
Cups by Anna Kendrick (I also adore Anna Kendrick. She's such a bamf)
22 by Taylor Swift
Picking up the Pieces by Paloma Faith
Pop Danthology by Daniel Kim
Crazy Kids by Ke$ha
I've started watching Teen Wolf. Honestly, I thought Stiles was the main character. I mean, Scott's cool too, but Stiles just makes it beautiful.
I also went shopping yesterday with one of my favorite people, and I fell in love. With a hat. And a sketchbook. And a card that I bought solely to put on my wall. I feel like it all bumps up my hipster cred by at least 78 percent.