Mornings are hard.

So, it's been a while. I guess. I just haven't felt like writing stuff. Especially when I have to write stuff for school. Though no academic articles or anything, so it's not that bad. Maybe a bit.

Anyhoo, I have to write a paper for my UCF (Understanding the Christian Faith) class, and we can talk about some big issue. So pretty much anything. And I'm kind of leaning towards how we should love, or just love in general. I think it's an important issue, that we skim over, because it seems like it should be obvious or easy. And it's not. It's just not. So I just thought I'd organize my thoughts out a bit before truly starting out. Maybe see if anyone has any thoughts about it.

Which I actually asked my professor after class if he thought it was a good topic. And he said it could use to be narrowed a bit, made more specific, but over all it's a good topic. That makes me pretty happy. I have a topic!!

In other news, I have bright red hair again. I just redyed it, it's all lovely and bright, and oh my Celestia, I feel like the little mermaid. There's something about bright colors that is just wonderful, you know? They brighten up my day. All day, I've been walking up to doors and staring at the bright red reflection in the glass. Also, I'm happy my school has doors made of glass. 

To add to all this happiness, I found my last good hair tie! It's the only one that's not overly stretched out, or broke so the elastic peeks out and pulls at my hair. In the words of Luna:

A not so lovely thing that happened today (besides making myself get out of bed) is that a fellow student in my philosophy class got pissed and stormed out. And on his way he called both the class, and the teacher fucking retarded. And then he threw in that philosophy is gay. And tossed over a lectern. Everyone sat there in silence for a bit after that, just shocked. That sort of behavior is not okay. I don't care if you don't like the class, or the teacher. You paid for that class, you chose to sign up for it, so either sit there and keep your mouth shut, or drop the class. It's not that hard. If you really don't like philosophy, just stop coming! Or even just show up and not pay attention. Put earbuds in, or zone out, or whatever. And using words like retarded and gay? Not cool bro. Seriously. Not cool.

I personally like the class, and the teacher. He's a super cool guy, he was my alpha group leader when I first got to college, and I'd looked forward to taking this class, pretty much all because of him. And philosophy isn't that bad. I mean, it's not something I get easily, but then I don't get every single subject right on the nose all the time. That's why I'm a student who goes to class to learn from a professor. A professor who has the credentials to work at a college. I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure they don't let just anyone in.

And now back to using words like retarded, and gay. You're using them to call something worthless, and stupid. That is not okay either! Honestly. You wouldn't like it if someone said "That is so rude student who just barges out of the room!" Especially if they meant it in context to you. You'd feel horrible! Like, why have I done something wrong?

So, yah. Good times.

Pick up line time! The main thing every one has missed in the couple weeks I haven't posted anything. I don't feel like doing a ton of searching, so here's my personal favorite. Cheers!

I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?

Oh hai thar

So, um, I've kind of been absent here, haven't I? Whoopsy... I may or may not have forgotten I have a blog.

Schools been out for over 2 weeks, and I've been working on my room and redecorating it, painting my nails, reading, going shopping, Tumblr-ing. Fun stuff. And I haven't really had many profound wisdom hitting, I need to share this with everyone type moments.

Though I will say, every now and then, I just get hit with all the stupid, insensitive things I've said and done. And it's like it just plays on repeat, over and over again. It could be hormones/PMS related + the lack of people to keep me sane. But it just all hits me. And it makes me wonder how I even have friends. Seriously, it does.  Now, I'm not good at thinking before I talk. Sometimes my words just come out. Especially when I'm tired, and I just want to say everything I think of. It's not pretty. I feel like I've gotten much, much better over the last couple years. Needless to say, I was a child without tact. An adorable child, I'm sure, but definitely one with out tact.

The thing is, I'm already insecure. And pretty sure I have OCD. My mum thinks so too. I can't let things go. I overthink to a fault, sometimes. I'm bad at letting feelings go. And I'm not surrounded by people right now who make it known that it's okay for me to hang out with them. Who let me know they like being around me. That they like me. My summer schedule is work, home, sleep, repeat, pretty much. I haven't really done anything with anyone. And my family has to like me. So right now, I'm semi-bi-polar. I just keep thinking about all my unthinking blunders, and then sometimes I manage to move on and be fine.

Maybe when I've stopped bleeding and cramping, I'll be closer to my usual norm. Maybe it is just hormones. But right now, while it's not over whelming, it's still there, and it's screwing with my insecurities like nothing else.

I might be driving out to visit a friend soon, though! Super excited about that.