I'm going to start something, to try and make myself update more frequently. I'm going to start Friday fun facts, and just share something. Every Friday. So if nothing else, I will post on Fridays.
So. I've learned a lot of stuff over this past semester. Actually, prolly the whole academic year, but everything before January seems like a lifetime ago, so we're going to focus on this semester.
While I've learned a ton in all my classes, I'm going to focus mostly on the things I learned outside of the classroom. Some are things about myself, some just random things. But all things I've learned about myself.
First off, I need my sleep. It's very important to me that I get my sleep, and if it means I sleep between 12 and 14 hours on Saturday and Sunday, so be it.
Maya is actually a enormously enjoyable program, and I'm so happy I got to experience it more, and become fairly comfortable in it.
Laughing till you think you might legitly pee yourself is an amazing feeling. Not the feeling like you might pee, but just laughing that much.
In life, my main goal is to be happy. It's what I want to be when I grow up.
My secondary goal is to love people.
Sometimes you need to get away from people.
It is completely fine and okay to say no. Your mental and emotional health is more important than agreeing to do something, just because you want to please someone else.
Just because you might not like how you look, or like your body does not mean you don't love yourself. It is fine to not feel okay in your own skin.
McDonald's sweet tea is actually wonderful, and I never knew that till a couple weeks ago.
Sometimes people you consider "too cool" for you are just as nerdy, and make great friends.
It's okay to be uncertain about what you want to do. The rest of your life is a long time, and you should take all the fucking time you need. I'm actually going to share a video done below that I feel perfectly says that.
And finally:
I want to make stuff that I'm proud of. I want to be able to look at what I've done and say, "I'm so fucking proud of this. You don't understand, I made this, and I'm PROUD of it." Honestly, when I feel really satisfied with something I've done, good grades or praise is just a nice little side benefit.
I also wanted to share this video with everyone. As someone who honestly doesn't know what the fuck she really REALLY wants to do after college, it's so wonderful to hear someone talk about this.
But honestly, I get so pissed when I hear people say, "Oh, Abi wants to do this, or go on to do this, or work at this studio." Bitch, no. You do not get to tell people that, and half the time you get it wrong. Please, stop. I mean, I know what I enjoy now, and I have tentative thoughts of what I'd like to do after I graduate. But I have heard people say I want to work for Disney, and that's not true. I mean, I would love to work for Disney, and it would be such an honor, but it's not my dream (ironic, huh?)
All I know for the future is I want to make stuff I am fucking proud of, and be happy.
This isn't going to be super long. It's just feelings, pouring out. Plus I'm tired, but I don't want to go to sleep just yet. I prolly will after I write this.
I just sometimes feel like I want to sleep with someone. Not fuck. But just be close to someone and fall asleep. Is that weird? I don't even know. I just think it would be nice. You could even cuddle, and share bodywarmth. I think it sounds lovely. Maybe it's just me....
On another not, over the past 2 months, I have found myself incredibly attracted to Tobuscus on YouTube. I don't know why about that either. I just wish I could hang out with him, and be his friend. And play video games with him. That's not weird either, right? Totes not.
Have a picture of him. I'm contemplating potentially drawing this picture, with my awesome colored pencils, just cause he looks happy. Even with the bandaids on his forhead.
On a different note:
In philosophy, we're talking about personal identity, and I was just sitting there, like, Doctor Who addresses this in Journey's End. Oh. This was talked about in the Forrest of the Dead/Silence in the Library. This is just like The Almost People/Rebel Flesh. It's weird how taking philosophy after watching Doctor Who, and even after reading comics, I feel like I've heard a bunch of these theories before. It's weird. I mean, I like feeling like I get what's going on, and that it's not all new information.
On Monday, my Grandma is going into surgery. I really love my Grandma, and over the past couple days since I heard, everytime I think about being in this world without her, I start feeling like I want to cry. It hasn't been as bad today, possible cause I'm not PMSing any more. Thank goodness. But I'm still really worried. If y'all wouldn't mind praying, or if you aren't into praying or God, or whatever, if you could send positive thoughts for my Grandma in surgery, that would be great. And maybe some thoughts and prayers for my friend's mom, who is also in the hospital, and they're all worried. (Danielle, if you're reading this, I love you. And I am praying for y'all. <3 I know with everything going on, you might not read this, but I don't care. I adore you, and I want everything to work out fine for you and your family. And I'm cool with proclaiming my love for you in front of the internet. Even if you never see it.)
All in all, it's been kind of stressful, the past couple days. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving break. Though some highlight of my week have definitely been the recent Lizzie Bennet Diaries.
Here's the latest one. Though if you really want some cheering up, you should look for the ones with Fitz. I've watched those episodes several times the past few days. And Nevermind the Buzzcocks. Which is also a very wonderful show, and a favorite of mine.
Pick up line time! ......I really do like pick up lines.
And finally: Dear Toby, if you ever happen to stumble upon this, and you'd maybe like another friend, you should consider me. I am normally pretty decent at using proper grammar, and I'm funny sometimes. Other times just awkward. But I'm sure I could still be a good friend. If you'd like references, I can get some.
So, I've been anxiously awaiting for school to start again as I've had a pretty boring summer. And I really missed everybody. People are already starting to come back!! But, as I've just been meandering through my summer, I haven't had a ton to blog about, but I have been stocking up pictures. Pictures which I wish to share. With y'all. You're welcome.
I have added a new person to my list of favorite people who are wonderful and perfect and even though I don't know them I'm so happy they exist. And the person is CARRIE HOPE FLETCHER. She's amazing and wonderful. Her YouTube channel name is ItsWayPastMyBedTime.
I'm counting the Pride and Prejudice quote as the pickup line for this post. Cheers <3
You know, sometimes I watch stuff, and I just want to share it. Because I feel like it expresses what I feel and they say it so much better. Yah.
So. Tiny little rant time. The digital media arts department of my school has declared that all DMA students need to buy themselves their own tablet. Not an iPad tablet, in case you're wondering, a drawing tablet. Which, if I hadn't just bought a Macbook, I would be all, fuck yeah! I'm getting a tablet. Time for arts. But, I did just buy a Macbook. I know why the department did it, the ones they use to provide for us kept getting taken, and they were kind of jank. Some of the pens were missing buttons, some of the screens were a tad glitchy. So we'll get better quality and save the department budget a bit, which can lead to cooler, better stuff elsewear, but I just bought a Mac! My bank account is super low. I still have a couple other text books I need to buy. I'm super poor. College is expensive, man.
Now, I have a feeling I'll end up loving my tablet. I'm looking at the Wacom Bamboo Create, which seems pretty reasonably priced and a pretty good quality tablet. And it means I can do even more homework off campus, which my mom will love, since I commute. And I would need it eventually for doing free lance stuff, or working from home, or doing commissions, stuff like that.
If any one wants to see my arts (which are mostly traditional art), here's a link to my DeviantArt page: Click me. If you want.
THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD. I don't even... How do they? He even mentions Kathryn De Bourg! So wonderful.
Okay. That's all. An entire post for this video because I AM IN LOVE. Who needs to find the love of your life when you can read about other people doing it? Ahem.
Also I'm really craving any food that's delicious. Anything. A donut, a hamburger, fries, MOUNTAIN DEW, cupcakes, bread, MOUNTAIN DEW. ....Mountain Dew's really important to me. I can't eat most of the delicious bad for you foods at least not for a bit, and then I still can't eat everything all the time. Though that might be gross. I have super bad bad cholesterol. Like, my mom broke the news by telling me I'm a heart attack waiting to happen. Which I don't believe is how people are supposed to break news. But c'est la vie. Anyways, I'm supposed to eat as little starch and sugar as possible. Which is super fucking HARD. I really like eating and food, you guys. In one of my favorite books (a Ring of Endless Light by Madeline L'Engle) There is this quote I adore. "Eating is an affirmation that you're alive." Eating as in wanting to eat, and liking to eat, and enjoying the food. Because, food is first of all, delicious. And secondly, it's beautiful. It can take hours to prepare and make some stuff, but it's wonderful. It's something you can make for yourself! And then bask in your success. Or cry over a messy kitchen, but whatever.
Though today I did eat some Subway. Because I thought I brought a bowl of tuna for lunch, (excellent source of protein) ANND turns out I grabbed guacamole. Yah. Since that, well yummy when paired with chips, would not keep me full till I go home and eat dinner, I ran out to get sustenance. I was going to go to McDonald's and get something, but they were packed. So I went to Subway, which must be at least a bit healthier. A bit.
A friend of mine posted a link to this blog/post thingy. And it intrigued me, not only because I've had a tiny little secret desire to see Magic Mike, but also because I've noticed the double standards elsewhere. For those of you who didn't click the link and have no idea what I'm talking about, the post is about female's reactions to the movie, Magic Mike, which is about some male strippers. Honestly, I don't even know if it has a plot. But with Channing Tatum's abs, is a plot really necessary?
My last sentence may or may not have been meant ironically (but seriously, he has GREAT ABS)Now, this kind of sentence came from the type of person with balls, he might get a reprimand. If he were to comment on a movie about female strippers, and the actors being fit, it might come off a bit sexist or pervy. You know? Which I think is unfair. Now, I really have no clue what makes a girl "hot" or "fit" in the eyes of a guy. I really don't. Though I imagine it differs from male to male. I mean, one guy might see big tits, and think, "Oh wow, hello there." Others might not care about that at all, and instead be an ass man. Or they might be attracted to a fine pair of eyes in a pretty face. I honestly have no idea. I mean, my celebrity crushes are different than my friends celebrity crushes, which must mean we are attracted to different things. For instance, my main celebrity crush is Darren Criss. Especially when his hair's all loose and curly and he has a beard. Mmmm. Just mmm. So lovely. He's also got a very nice body. Well. At least torso/arms/legs. And ass. And face. But I digress.
It seems unfair that men "get in trouble" (so to say) for this kind of behavior, while women don't. Men can't look at women's bodies and appreciate them, but women get a free pass....? Women can be just as vulgar/perverted/dirty minded as men. There are women who masturbate (at least if the awesome webcomic Girls with Slingshotsis true to life)Women who think about sex all the time. Women who don't see men as men so much as a thing with a cock that would feel so good inside them. So why this double standard?
Recently, something of this vein has been bothering me. You know of pintrest, I presume? I do believe I might have mentioned it before (and my super awesome board of potential tattoos) Now, here's the thing that irks me. Lots of people are motivated to loose wait/get healthy, and post motivational things. Not a big deal. In fact, I'm for that. If you want to get healthy, and mayhaps drop a couple pounds, go for it. All for it. You go guurrrrlll. But one of the things that is often posted are pictures of barely clothed women. I had brought this up with my mom, and she was all like, "It's just motivation!" No. No, no no, no. You see, alot of the pictures I've seen are pictures we'd give guys loads of crap for if it was on their pintrest.(Do guys have pintrests? Point still stands) Look at these pictures. Looks at them. These are in the fitness section.
What person stands with their ass perfectly arched out like that? Honestly now. It makes for a very nice line, but honestly. And then there's the girl in the bikini. Yes, she has a nice body. But can you honestly say that if some guy you know had this picture on his facebook wall, you'd feel perfectly fine with it?
As a girl who has been raised in church since she was born, I've gotten modesty talks over and over again. We need to keep our tits hidden, we need to not dress slutty, we need to help our brothers out but not dressing provocatively. You know why? Because they're male, they have dicks, and they think with them. Well, it wasn't said like that, but you get the drift. (I just unintentionally made me laugh. Mid drifts are another thing to be kept under wraps. And by wraps, I mean clothes.)So. Most the people I know on pintrest are people who've either sat with me through such talks, or believe in mostly acting that way anyways. So why the fuck would they think it's okay to post stuff like this? I don't get it.
I'd rather it be all or nothing. I'd rather we all accept that sometimes we're attracted to people sexually, and sometimes we talk about a person as more as a really nice looking thing than as a person, or that we'd all just stop. Which would be super hard, not only for guys, but also for those who are going to be artists and doctors. You know? I believe the body is beautiful. (Maybe not cocks so much. Those are kind of icky looking, not going to lie.) But it is beautiful, and it should be admired. Think upon great works of art. Like Michelangelo's David. I don't know if you know this, but that statue is completely in the buff. Nothing to hide. I think the big difference, between such a work of art and the photo's from pintrest, is how he's portrayed. He's not booty poppin'. He's not carved so his abs are the first thing you noticed. He's not giving off a smoldering look. He's there as a statue, not a carving of something overly sexual.
This is all my opinion. I could be sprouting complete and utter bullshit, for all I know. I just hate it when people talk about males as lecherous things who twirl their mustaches well fapping to pictures of almost nekked ladies. Women do it too. Maybe we don't fap to it. But we gush. We draw fanart. We drool. We go on and on about it. We kid about our ovaries exploding. We talk about wanting this or that person's babies. In a way, we kind of emotionally fap to them. Which could be just as bad.
After all that heavy talk about double standards, should I add a pick up line?
......Yes. But don't worry, I chose a super appropriate one. (Kind of. Just.... It's ironic, okay? Cause I'm just so hipster and all that shit.)
.....I'm such a lady. #sarcasm
So. If there's anyone out there who'd like to weigh in, tell me I'm wrong, agree with me, tell me I have nice tits, knock yourself out. As long as you aren't saying stuff like "I hate you!! Go kill yourself!", I'd love to hear what you think.
P.S. I'm off to watch some of the super awesome Lizzie Bennet diaries!! I made myself wait till I had finished my blog. If you want to watch the latest episode that I'm about to run off and squee about, hear ya go:
Edit: recently a friend told me this post was really explicit. I personally feel like maybe they missed the point. It's not about sex, or sexy times, or wanting to have sex. It was meant to be kind of an, we all have these thoughts, urges, feelings, whatever. But why is it expected of guys to have these thoughts, were as if girls have such thoughts, we just all laugh together, or we hide them? It's a part of being a human. Except for asexual people.
