On bodies :or: I do not have to love my body

“

Stop telling women that we should find ourselves beautiful and that we should love ourselves when you are standing right there, judging us on how our knees look in short skirts and how prominent our boobs are in a sweater and how much makeup we are or are not wearing.

Instead of us working harder on “love your body” and “find your inner beauty”, the rest of the world should be working harder on “stop telling women their bodies are a shameful place to live but that if they’re strong enough, they will learn to embrace that shame.”

This is my body. It’s not “beautiful”. I don’t “love it”. I don’t have to. I don’t have to have any strong feelings about my body. And whatever feelings I do have are not somehow invalid if they’re not glowing reviews.

”

—	Elyse Mofo, “Don’t Tell Me to Love My Body”

So the links don't work when I copied it over, so lemme just get those for you. Just in case you want them. THE WHOLE POSt HERE .

It's really good. And as someone who's not skinny, but not quite overweight, I have felt these things. I'm at the point were I love me, and I'm okay with myself, but I definitely don't love my body. I mean, it does what it's supposed to, it gets me places, keeps me mostly healthy and not sick, whatever.

And the part of I'm supposed to feel about my body because of how some else thinks I should feel about my body? Okay, I had this assignment for one of my classes this past semester. The project was to draw ourselves, and then draw ourselves walking. Not a big deal, right?

I couldn't figure out how to draw myself. If I drew myself too chubby, inevitablly some one would say to me, you're not fat! But if I drew myself too skinny, I would feel like I lied, and I was worried people would judge me for making myself too skinny. I ended up going on the skinny side. There are only so many times you can hear that you aren't fat, especially from skinny people before you want to just be like, YES I AM. Just trust me on this. I'm not obese, and I'm not terribly overweight, but I do have more fat than I would like.

Here's the video, if you would like to see it:

Walk Across from Abi Freeland on Vimeo.

I mean, it's not horribly off, but it is still skinnier than me. Oh, but I am really proud of that shirt. I mostly figured out how to do that by myself, and oh my glob, so many proud feelings. 


I also have some thoughts on nudity and how society handles it, which I keep meaning to type up and get out there, so keep your eyes peeled for that sometime in the next few weeks.

Pick up time!! yay! It's been too long.

Theories on hair color affecting personality :or: I miss my red hair.

I  have had every color hair, at some point or other. Now, some of them were just streaks, it wasn't all over color, and I haven't had every shade, sadly. However, I have had brown hair, black hair, ginger hair, blond, bright red hair, purple hair, bits of pink, blue, green, yellow, orange. And RED. Lots of red.

Pretty much my whole freshman year, and all of last semester, I had red hair. I loved it. And while freshman me had almost natural ginger type thing going, sophomore me had RED hair. Like, fuckin Little Mermaid red. It was wonderful. I mean, yes, it faded quickly, and I dyed my hair once a month, but I loved it. And I mean, LITTLE MERMAID. ARIEL. I was practically Ariel. Who is my favorite Disney princess, and prolly the one I relate to the most. But that's another topic.

 But now, I have gone back to my original brunette. Or at least my roots are finally starting to get long enough to tell what my original brown looks like, and it's pretty close. And the thing is, I think having brown hair made me more timid. 

Here's the thing. When I had red hair, I already had part of my personality out there for people to judge. Like, here I am. What do ya think? It was easier to be outgoing, somehow. Easier to talk with people, or something.

With brown hair, I feel like I kind of just fade into the background. It's easier to not open up, to just be there. I don't know, but I just do not feel as comfortable somehow. Or too comfortable. 

It did really help when I got my nose pierced it somehow put back that element of, here I am! It's not quite the same, but it's a step in the right direction.

This summer, I am trying to get my hair as healthy as I can. I'm not going to dye it, I'm going to treat it right. Get those vitamins in to promote healthy hair, do some masks, really take care of it. And then next semester, like in August, I'm going back to red hair. And then it should look better, feel better, and just have an overall healthier vibe to it, so when I put the chemicals and stuff in, it won't be as damaging. 

When I looked up red hair, I started getting kind of jealous. A) all these people's hair looks fantastic. It's all so gorgeous, and B) lots of them have tattoos. SO JELLY. But here are my inspirations for next fall. 

I'm exhausted :or: Less than 2 weeks till I'm free!

If you are in college, or know someone in college, you might be aware that it's about finals time. Now, I have another full week of classes, and then finals. Other schools are already emptied out of their students. I envy them.

I feel drained. I have some homework up, that I could be working on. But I can't focus on it for anything. I go, type a sentence or two, leave. Do something else. I would love to just take a nap right now, and then attempt to get everything done, but my motivation is fried. Which just adds more stress, as I really want to do well in all my projects, but I don't care anymore, but I want to do well, you feel me?



Most of my stuff is due by Thursday night, so that we can submit it for the Spring Showcase, so after that it should be smooth sailing. Hopefully. After that I should just have my Psych test to worry about, all my other classes are heavily project based, so all you do is show up when the final is scheduled.

All I've wanted to do for the past 3 days is to just go sit somewhere quiet, and not have to react to anything. Maybe sit in a coffee shop and draw, maybe finally catch up on the latest episode of Doctor Who (which I've had since Monday, and haven't gotten around to watching yet), maybe just sleeping. Just, as long as I don't have to DO anything. I understand that the end of the semester is when you get to show the culmination of all your work, and bring out the best stuff after months of learning. But all these big projects are stressing me out.

Now, looking at it all critically, I know mentally that it's all manageable. I'll be fine, and I'll end up having made something I'm proud of. I've put so much into my assignments all semester, and I think I got a good return, and I'm sure my final projects will be good as well.

But feeling based, all I know is that my head hurts, I've been tired and sleep deprived and weary since Monday night, I have so much to do, I don't want to let people down, I just feel like I could start bawling at any moment, and people around me are starting relationships. Which leads to talking and feelings and shit. This all adds up to me feeling EXHAUSTED. I even got at least 8 hours of sleep for the past two nights, and I almost feel more tired.

I don't want to complain too much, I mean, I do love my major and I'm passionate about my projects (or I am when I'm not too tired to care). The thing is, I feel like I've just been going and going and going for the past month. I'm so happy the end is close, because I don't think I could keep going and stay in a healthy place for much longer.

It's funny, cause I see pictures like this, and it's just like, no. I am tired. I mean, yes, maybe there are a couple other emotions there, like stress. But right now, all I feel is tired. Honestly, the thought that tomorrow is Saturday, and I get to sleep for hours is one of the few things keeping me going right now.

That was all long and dreary. If you got all the way through it, bless your face. Thank you for reading through my feelings. Or current lack there of.

Welp. It's been a while, and I've missed it. If nothing else, pick up lines are good for a chuckle. I don't know about you, but I can most definitely use a smile or some laughter.

It's my life :or: things I have trouble saying

Right now there are plenty of other things I could be doing. I could be working on a paper for my psych class. I could be working on storyboards I need to have done in 2 hours. I could be drooling over the Nexus 4. (I want to get it this summer to replace my jank phone.) However, here I am, typing up my feelings.

Do you ever get to that point where you just keep feeling like you need to do something? Maybe something that scares you, or makes you uncomfortable, or you just don't want to do. Well, on this upcoming Thursday, I will be doing floor worship on my friends floor. And by doing I mean giving my "testimony". Now, this terrifies the shit out of me for two reasons. A: I have trouble with talking in front of groups of people. B: I'm not good at sharing my faith.

I mean, I don't even really have a faith. I'm still getting there. This is me, being honest, and saying if I were to do right now, I do not know if I'd go to heaven. And that's okay. Even if I was a professing christian, even if I was at that place, I still would have doubts, or wonder if I was good enough. And that is also okay.

See, here's the thing. I grew up in the church. Like, my granpa started going to church at Lake Avenue. And then all my aunts and uncles and my dad grew up at Lake Avenue. And then when I was born, I went to Lake Avenue. You see where I'm going with this? I never really had a choice. It was never my faith. It was always expected of me. Assumed, really. And I can't have any sort of personal faith, anything I firmly believe in, if I'm only believing it because someone else doesn't want me to go to hell. That's not how it works. I can't be a christian for anyone other than me. Well. Maybe for Jesus.

I stepped back. Not completely, it's not like I'm an atheist now. I still believe in a lot of the things I was told and taught, I still believe that there's a God, and that love is the answer. But I had to step back, I had to find out if I believed in this stuff because it made sense to me, because I could grasp it, or if I was just holding on to a ghost of someone else's faith. I can't do that. I can't. That's not mine. I know they say sharing is caring, but I can't share someone else's faith. That's like saying that David Tennant is the best Doctor, solely because other people believe that. (I actually don't have a favorite Doctor. Everytime I try to decide, I just keep finding things I love about all of them.)

And then there are problems with the church itself. The church is broken. I mean, it's made up of braken people, but that's not the only reason. The church is for believers. It is for Christians. I go into a service, and I feel like, as a good Christian being, I'm supposed to be convicted. But I'm not there. I'm just not. I may go to the service, I may laugh at funny parts, I may feel sad about sad parts, I may love the music. But I don't feel it. You feel me? I don't long to be a better Christian, I'm not sure if I am a Christian, how can I be expected to try and be a better one?

The title Christian itself is so maimed and hurt, both by the media, AND by things the church has done. I'm not really sure I want the tag on me. I think being a follower of Jesus is worthy of striving for. I mean, dude was awesome. At least canon Jesus, who flips over tables and was sassy. And he loved like crazy. I mean, what he did, he did for love. That is beautiful. That is worthy of emulating.

Here's the thing. I can't do things half assed. I either have to be in all the way or not at all. I either have to not give a fuck, or do it with all of me. I can't do it lukewarm; I can't be lukewarm. That won't work, I can not do it. But if I was a "Christian" just to make my mom happy, I would be lukewarm. I would just be going through the paces, pretty much pretending to be what I'm expected to be.

I'm actually pretty happy that even though the college I go to is a christian college, they're pretty apathetic about your faith. If I was here, and I was expected to be a holy and devote christian, I would not be able to try to figure it out. I would go back to doing what I had done throughout middle and high school, just doing the motions and not rocking the boat.

A faith that's not yours is no faith at all. You can't find comfort in it, there's no peace there for you. Maybe someday I'll get to the point where I can say I am a christian. But today is not that day. I don't have all the answers, I barely have any answers. And that's okay. As they say in A Very Potter Musical, "Okay is wonderful."

And like they say in The Fault in Our Stars: Okay.

See, where I am in my life is okay. It's okay not to know, it's okay to be figuring that out, if I live to 100 and still haven't figured it out, that's okay too. Actually, I hope I've figured something out before a hundred. But it's a journey, and it's my journey. It's my progress. There will be others around me who will encourage and council and suggest and want. But at the end of the day, it is my fucking life. I need to be the one to figure out how to live it.

So I spent the whole time I was typing this feeling vaguely panicky, and kind of like I could cry, and then I looked up The Fault in our Stars, and that didn't help at all. Gah. I love that book, but it makes me sad. But a beautiful sad, ya feel? The kind of sadness you get when you hear a song, and it's sad, but it's also gut wrenchingly beautiful, filled with haunting truths and could be's. And then it ends and you're just left there trying to decide whether to cry, or go back and start it all over again.

So. This is where the pick up lines go, and who am I to disappoint? I'm feeling sweeter lines for today. And a Hank Green quote as a bonus.

Quick little rant

This will hopefully be quick, and not turn into a long ramble. Just a little thing that bothers me.

Kay, so you know the term lol? I sort of despise it. As a reaction statement, it's okay, but people throw it in after their sentences, such as, my cat did such and such lol. Or maybe they put a joke and then lol.

No. If your status or tweet or whatnot does not amuse me, adding lol on the end won't change that. If your post is not legitimately funny all by itself, then it's not funny. If it is actually funny, then you don't fucking need lol. I view it as a crutch, like, "I'm not sure how people will recieve my post, or if they'll understand it's funny, so I'll throw lol on the end so they'll get it."

Um. No. If you can't figure out how to phrase something funny so that it conveys the funny, then why are you sharing? You must have found it funny. You got it. All of us out here, we're not terribly dumb. Try it without the lol.

This is more for the people who seem to use it every status and every fucking comment. I mean, I'm sure you and your friends are nerds. I don't see why I need to lol. I don't care that you fucking disagree with me. lol isn't going to soften the blow. If you're worried something you say might offend someone else, then either don't say it, or throw caution to the wind and chop off that lol. Personally, I'll respect you more. If you have the balls to say exactly what you want to say, and then not hide behind a cliche and trite saying, I applaud you.

This has been my rant on lol. I don't know if any one agrees with me, or I'm just getting irrationally pissed off. But I do feel a bit better now.

If only reading my psychology textbook was as exciting. I mean, it is interesting, and I enjoy learning new things. But it's homework, and I have a headache that I just want to sleep off. It's only 9:30, and I want to go to bed. I shall persevere, and power forward. There is my first test this Friday, which I want to do my best on. If that means reading my textbook, then so be it.

Pick up line time!!!

ANNDDDDD have a bonus Lord Disick. I've been sharing my art and shit without adding any extra pictures, or reactions, or pickup lines, and I've missed it. I've also missed hipster jokes. Feel free to share any and all hipster jokes with me.

Home is whenever I'm with you

On Pinterst, lots of people have boards dedicated just for their wedding. Dresses, cakes, decorations, set ups, so many ideas all poured into one board. I don't really get it. I think it would be nice to plan a wedding with whoever I may happen to marry. It's not just my day. Besides, all I know is that I want the dress from A Cinderella Story. And have lots of twinkly fairy lights, and maybe bubbles. If it was a twilight, that could be cool too.

But, I do have a board for something in the future. This is just full of possible ideas and thoughts and inklings. I have an extreme desire to organize, and fill someplace full of me and the things that I love. Once, when I was in eighth or tenth grade, I got crazy excited. Because I realized, one day, I would be able to choose my own laundry detergent. I got excited because of laundry detergent. I could be wrong, but I don't think that's something that runs through every teenagers head. I want a home of my own. I don't know if any of you have read the House on Mango Street (It's a great book that I adore). But I connected to the main character, Esperanza, who desperately wants a home of her own. Well, she also wants to leave her neighborhood, but the point still stands. She wants it desperately.

I want a home of my own. I want to find a place to live, and go shopping for a couch, and pillows, and rugs, and kitchen stuff, and a bed, and knick knacks. I want knick knacks, guys. Knick knacks. I want to decorate and paint.

Some of my friends have become homesick. Or, they already were homesick, and it's only gotten worse. Others have been worried about what others think of them. While it's kind of hard to be too homesick when you commute, and still sleep in your own bed, and see your mom pretty much every morning, I do get worrying about if people like being my friend, if I'm annoying them, if they truly do like being around me. And it kills me inside to hear others feeling this way. I want my friends to feel loved. I want them to know they are wonderful, and talented. They're all so talented. I adore them all so much. They are fantastic, and phenomenal, and if somebody doesn't tell me to stop I'll just keep rambling about how extraordinary and wonderful they all are.

I kind of want to be home for them. It sounds a bit weird, wanting to be home for people. But I just want to make everyone feel safe and happy and cherished. If I make people feel even a bit better about themselves, I will count that as a success.



I thought I'd do a thing were I share some things that currently make me happy. Because if something makes you happy, there's a good chance it makes someone else happy, which means I'm not just sharing some random stuff, I'm sharing happiness. Which is pretty fucking cool.

Some songs that are consistently replayed:
 Thrift Shop by Macklemore
 Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds
 Cups by Anna Kendrick (I also adore Anna Kendrick. She's such a bamf)
 22 by Taylor Swift
 Picking up the Pieces by Paloma Faith
 Pop Danthology by Daniel Kim
 Crazy Kids by Ke$ha




I've started watching Teen Wolf. Honestly, I thought Stiles was the main character. I mean, Scott's cool too, but Stiles just makes it beautiful.










I also went shopping yesterday with one of my favorite people, and I fell in love. With a hat. And a sketchbook. And a card that I bought solely to put on my wall. I feel like it all bumps up my hipster cred by at least 78 percent.

So. It's been a while :or: A bucket list

I am horrible at doing this, aren't I? It was easier to update when I was using it to procrastinate. Now I can do what ever I want to, and most of the time it isn't very productive stuff.

Lists of things I've done since school let out last year (I can say last year cause it's now 2013. It all feels so long ago):

• Re read the first 3 Harry Potter books. SO FUCKING GOOD.
• Drew a bit. Not an over abundance of drawing, but a bit.
• Exchanged some presents with some great people. I don't know how I got such amazing friends, but I'm so happy they are in my life
• Watched the Hobbit. I now fancy Kili/Aidan Turner so much it's ridiculous. It's so ridiculous, that I'm pretty sure I could get rid of a boggart with it.
• Am attempting to learn how to apply liquid eye liner with out it looking horrible.
• Also, shout out to Hard Candy, which is one of my favorite makeup brands.
• Been generally very lazy all around.

This past year has been a really great year. I can't think of anything horrible that's happened to me, I got to spend time with some of the coolest people ever, I'm studying something I adore.

With all of the great things, I don't really know of any resolutions, except for my daily resolution: To only dread one day at a time." I read it in a book somewhere, once, and it's really helped me, cause other wise I over think, and make myself sick. But one day at a time is manageable.

So, since I don't have any particular New Years resolution, I thought I'd share my bucket list. Things that will most likely not happen in this next year, or even relatively soon, but I want to do them before I die. I've never actually written these all out, so if the seem a little sporadic, they might be.


1-  To travel.

I absolutely love seeing new things and going new places. I love those books where you get to explore worlds with the characters, but like Gandalf says, "The world isn't in your books and maps. It's out there." I want to go abroad, and see all the iconic places for myself, and also look around and find all the things that you don't see immediately. The bits that don't always make it into the books and movies. The parts that would be unique to me.


2- To go to an All Time Low concert and a Starkid concert

I have never been to a concert. I mean, once I went to a christen concert with my family and church, but I'm not counting that. I want to go to my favorite band's concert. Perferably sooner than later, I feel like a 55 year old me wouldn't appreciate it as much as a 20 something me.

3- To own and run a small coffee shop

I've talked about this before. I have no clue why I want this, I just really do. I can practically see it in my head. Maybe if I retire rich, or make a lot of money someday, this will be something I can make happen. 

4- To walk around the Louvre

This one may fall under travel, but I have wanted to walk around to Louvre, and see all the art MY ENTIRE LIFE.  Except the mummies. I'd be fine with skipping the mummies. I've always thought, if I could only visit one place in the entire world, I'd want to visit the Louvre.

5- To decorate a small apartment however I want

I have always wanted this. Is that weird? Does anyone else feel that? I just want to be able to have a small apartment, with a kitten or a puppy, and have it all decorated how I want. I see the people in the movies who have those apartments, and I'm jealous of them. I want to have a couch that I found sitting just so in front of a TV, maybe a comfy recliner type chair next to it. A bookcase against a wall, loaded with books. A shelf full of movies. A fish tank somewhere. A little kitchen, filled with pots and pans and plates. A bedroom filled with good lighting, and drawing utensils, and pillows. And mugs. Lots of mugs everywhere. 
Not to mention all the things that remind me of friends. I'm horrible at taking pictures, or wanting to take pictures, so I prolly won't have alot of those around. But the things they've given me will be everywhere.

6- To get a tattoo

I've also talked about this. I still really want a tattoo. A lot. I just want a little something, a little bit of art, that will stay forever. I know people say, tattoos are permanant, why would you want one? But that's part of the allure for me. It's so nice, in this day and age to look at something and say, this will never change. This will stay with me forever. And to be able to have art with you where ever you go? Who doesn't want a reminder of something that makes them happy every where they go?
   
7- To be happy

I desperately hope, no matter what happens in my life, or where I end up, I will always find a way to make the best of things. If life doesn't turn out well, I want to still be able to say, life is still good. The sun is still shining. And I am still happy. I want to be able to still notice the little things that make life good, the little smiles, the little joys.
         

Since I'm an animation student, I found this pick up line appropriate.

 

My life.

 I just want to experience it. That's not wrong, right?

Maybe like Lizzie Bennet, I'm doomed to be perpetually single.

#feelings. ::or:: I'd like to be consistantly happy for a bit.

This isn't going to be super long. It's just feelings, pouring out. Plus I'm tired, but I don't want to go to sleep just yet. I prolly will after I write this.

I just sometimes feel like I want to sleep with someone. Not fuck. But just be close to someone and fall asleep. Is that weird? I don't even know. I just think it would be nice. You could even cuddle, and share bodywarmth. I think it sounds lovely. Maybe it's just me....

On another not, over the past 2 months, I have found myself incredibly attracted to Tobuscus on YouTube. I don't know why about that either. I just wish I could hang out with him, and be his friend. And play video games with him. That's not weird either, right? Totes not.
Have a picture of him. I'm contemplating potentially drawing this picture, with my awesome colored pencils, just cause he looks happy. Even with the bandaids on his forhead.

On a different note:


In philosophy, we're talking about personal identity, and I was just sitting there, like, Doctor Who addresses this in Journey's End. Oh. This was talked about in the Forrest of the Dead/Silence in the Library. This is just like The Almost People/Rebel Flesh. It's weird how taking philosophy after watching Doctor Who, and even after reading comics, I feel like I've heard a bunch of these theories before. It's weird. I mean, I like feeling like I get what's going on, and that it's not all new information.

On Monday, my Grandma is going into surgery. I really love my Grandma, and over the past couple days since I heard, everytime I think about being in this world without her, I start feeling like I want to cry. It hasn't been as bad today, possible cause I'm not PMSing any more. Thank goodness. But I'm still really worried. If y'all wouldn't mind praying, or if you aren't into praying or God, or whatever, if you could send positive thoughts for my Grandma in surgery, that would be great. And maybe some thoughts and prayers for my friend's mom, who is also in the hospital, and they're all worried. (Danielle, if you're reading this, I love you. And I am praying for y'all. <3 I know with everything going on, you might not read this, but I don't care. I adore you, and I want everything to work out fine for you and your family. And I'm cool with proclaiming my love for you in front of the internet. Even if you never see it.)

All in all, it's been kind of stressful, the past couple days. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving break. Though some highlight of my week have definitely been the recent Lizzie Bennet Diaries.

Here's the latest one. Though if you really want some cheering up, you should look for the ones with Fitz. I've watched those episodes several times the past few days. And Nevermind the Buzzcocks. Which is also a very wonderful show, and a favorite of mine.

Pick up line time!
......I really do like pick up lines.

And finally:
Dear Toby, if you ever happen to stumble upon this, and you'd maybe like another friend, you should consider me. I am normally pretty decent at using proper grammar, and I'm funny sometimes. Other times just awkward. But I'm sure I could still be a good friend. If you'd like references, I can get some. 

 

Mornings are hard.

So, it's been a while. I guess. I just haven't felt like writing stuff. Especially when I have to write stuff for school. Though no academic articles or anything, so it's not that bad. Maybe a bit.

Anyhoo, I have to write a paper for my UCF (Understanding the Christian Faith) class, and we can talk about some big issue. So pretty much anything. And I'm kind of leaning towards how we should love, or just love in general. I think it's an important issue, that we skim over, because it seems like it should be obvious or easy. And it's not. It's just not. So I just thought I'd organize my thoughts out a bit before truly starting out. Maybe see if anyone has any thoughts about it.

Which I actually asked my professor after class if he thought it was a good topic. And he said it could use to be narrowed a bit, made more specific, but over all it's a good topic. That makes me pretty happy. I have a topic!!

In other news, I have bright red hair again. I just redyed it, it's all lovely and bright, and oh my Celestia, I feel like the little mermaid. There's something about bright colors that is just wonderful, you know? They brighten up my day. All day, I've been walking up to doors and staring at the bright red reflection in the glass. Also, I'm happy my school has doors made of glass. 

To add to all this happiness, I found my last good hair tie! It's the only one that's not overly stretched out, or broke so the elastic peeks out and pulls at my hair. In the words of Luna:

A not so lovely thing that happened today (besides making myself get out of bed) is that a fellow student in my philosophy class got pissed and stormed out. And on his way he called both the class, and the teacher fucking retarded. And then he threw in that philosophy is gay. And tossed over a lectern. Everyone sat there in silence for a bit after that, just shocked. That sort of behavior is not okay. I don't care if you don't like the class, or the teacher. You paid for that class, you chose to sign up for it, so either sit there and keep your mouth shut, or drop the class. It's not that hard. If you really don't like philosophy, just stop coming! Or even just show up and not pay attention. Put earbuds in, or zone out, or whatever. And using words like retarded and gay? Not cool bro. Seriously. Not cool.

I personally like the class, and the teacher. He's a super cool guy, he was my alpha group leader when I first got to college, and I'd looked forward to taking this class, pretty much all because of him. And philosophy isn't that bad. I mean, it's not something I get easily, but then I don't get every single subject right on the nose all the time. That's why I'm a student who goes to class to learn from a professor. A professor who has the credentials to work at a college. I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure they don't let just anyone in.

And now back to using words like retarded, and gay. You're using them to call something worthless, and stupid. That is not okay either! Honestly. You wouldn't like it if someone said "That is so rude student who just barges out of the room!" Especially if they meant it in context to you. You'd feel horrible! Like, why have I done something wrong?

So, yah. Good times.

Pick up line time! The main thing every one has missed in the couple weeks I haven't posted anything. I don't feel like doing a ton of searching, so here's my personal favorite. Cheers!

I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?

Blessed and Clumsy :or: I have the best friends anyone could ask for

This week has been awesome. I've gotten to see some wonderful people that I haven't in super long, AND... I'm getting a Macbook soon. I've also felt so fucking clumsy. Like, I got stains on a BRAND NEW SKIRT twice the first time I wore it. TWICE. I was at this frozen yogurt place for my sister's birthday (she's getting old. Halfway to 50), and I went to add some whipped cream, cause you know, why not? And it spluttered. I've dropped stuff. I got some blood drawn for blood work/tests and almost passed out. (Though, really, who needs FOUR FUCKING VIALS OF BLOOD anyways? There's got to be a better way than to draw out my blood.) 

So. I've felt like my week has been awesome. I got to see my Amanda, and Danni, and Danielle, and Kelsey, and on Friday I'm going to see another friend! And we shall sit and drink coffee and chat, and I shall try not to Instagram my Starbucks... I only recently got a phone that can use Instagram. I like it. Lots. But on the other hand, it's like I need to be clumsy to almost counter balance it. Maybe I can't just go from having no social life to seeing bunches of people without having a bunch of super awkwardness somewhere in my life. I'm super happy I finally have something to talk about though!

I would like to add, about the blood drawing... It was supposed to be a non fasting blood work, but since I hadn't eaten since before 7:30 that morning, and my mom wanted to get it done before we went to Subway, it turned into fasting. Which may have been a large part of the reason I almost fainted. (But I didn't! I didn't black out! ....I was close. But I didn't!) Plus, four vials. FOUR VIALS. My blood is supposed to stay in my body, thank you very much. Gah. I hate having blood drawn or getting injections/vaccinations. And people wonder why I don't give blood.

And now the part you've all been waiting for.... PICK UP LINE TIME